By: Fareen Ali
THOUSANDS of children in Malaysia will be starting their first day of primary school in less than a week. A big day, a milestone in their life journey. The big day comes with big dreams, anticipations, and emotions. Parents and the child spend days preparing for the first school day with uniforms, books, meals, and transport planning. All that needs to come together smoothly.
A welcoming week awaits new students greeting them at school, a program planned to ease the transition to schooling life for both the children and parents. Welcome banners will visibly grace school entrances including a touch of cheerful entertainment including mascot-style costume characters like Pikachu.
Which child does not find a yellow mouse with a lightning-shaped tail and rosy cheeks kind of cute? Serious matters are the mainstay of the welcome week. Talks are held in school on topics such as curriculum, in-class assessments, insurance, and even proper manners for using the school toilets.
School teachers and administrators are on their toes to make sure the welcome week gets carried out as planned. Despite all these efforts, something at this great onset of schooling might go unnoticed. What does it take for a child to have a positive school experience?
Material preparations are not enough
It is rather tedious but not arduous to prepare and comply with the lists for books, uniforms, and stationeries. Nonetheless, not all things can be addressed with lists of material things. One should not forget that the child needs to be prepared for school not only physically but also psychologically. A child that will be in a new and unfamiliar environment.
A child who will be meeting his/her classmates for the first time. A child who is probably not used to socializing. A child needs to deal with their parent’s expectations; expectations whether reasonable or not are often kept close to the parent’s hearts and not spoken. If only these things are spoken openly before school starts.
Perhaps what is sorely needed is psychological preparation. To be prepared for the challenges in school life and see how new students can be emotionally affected by the transition. There are many challenges and each child is different. Where should a parent begin?
Communication is a good start – open communications. Parents communicating with the child. The school communicates with the child. The school communicates with the parents and most importantly for the child to know when to communicate to adults when they need support.
Schools are first and foremost academic institutions. Expressing emotions does not come automatically. There are tuition classes that start even before children go to school. Just where can a child learn how to be mentally strong when they start school?
According to a Harvard study in 2005 looking at the prevalence and age-of-onset for DSM-IV disorders, it was noted that 50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24. Mental health well-being is definitely important, the ability to cope with the uncertainties of life may well be a matter of life or death.
Incidents such as bullying both physical and in cyberspace happen more frequently than they should. We can see these nasty bullying incidents happening to younger and younger victims.
If anything should be done to better deal with these risks before they are at school; to be equipped with mental resilience much earlier. The author believes that the two most valuable things a parent can give their child are a good education and a good upbringing. A parent can delegate getting a good education to excellent schools and capable teachers, but should the schools and teachers be responsible for the children’s upbringing too?
In the Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child 2010 report, the first 5 years of a child’s life are the most critical for their brain development. This is a small window of opportunity to shape a child. The experience of the first 5 years that would stay with them to adult life. Traits that we want to see in our child such as honesty, kindness, independence, and self-direction would start to develop within this time frame.
It takes time to develop these traits through many interactions and it can’t be gained from any class or boot camp. Perhaps the best way parents prepare for school life is to have many interactions with their children from a young age. It may well be the best way too for parents to accept their little one is growing up and on their way to be an independent adult.
The author is Head of Training, Universiti Malaya Centre of Leadership and Professional Development (UM LEAD)
